


The Scars of Sinners and Saints

by acloudysky



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 18:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20214145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acloudysky/pseuds/acloudysky
Summary: It's the third night in a row that both Dimitri and Dedue have been kept up late with piles of paperwork, but something about the moonlight and the almost high that being sleep deprived brings makes feelings bubble to the surface.





	The Scars of Sinners and Saints

Moonlight filtering in through the window is the only light left in Dimitri’s private office when Dedue opens the door at a quarter past one in the morning. He doesn’t knock because he knows that if he can’t see the warm glow of the oil lamp from under the door that almost certainly means Dimitri fell asleep doing paperwork yet again. It’s far from the latest he’s known Dimitri to stay up, but it’s also the third night in a row that he’s been up well past midnight and has to be awake by six the next morning. Rebuilding after years of war and turmoil takes work though and Dedue would be more than willing to wager that it’ll be years until they don’t regularly have late nights and early mornings. 

There is small solace in how soft the king’s sleeping face looks in the moonlight at least. 

“Your Majesty, I do believe you are drooling on important documents.” 

The comment is just enough to rouse Dimitri from his light slumber, but not enough to actually wake him up fully. 

“Dedue, I thought we decided that we were on a first name basis now,” Dimitri said groggily as he attempted to rub the sleepiness out of his good eye. Dedue let out a quiet laugh as he waited for Dimitri to fully wake up. It takes a moment, but he does eventually shake the sleepiness off. “Wait, you did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Whatever do you mean, Dimitri?” 

“If I didn’t know you better I’d say you’re being sarcastic. Sylvain has been a terrible influence.” The comment might have had more bite if it hadn’t ended with a yawn longer than the sentence itself. “What time is it anyways? I suspect you wouldn’t have come to get me if it wasn’t obnoxiously late.” 

“Correct. It was one fifteen last I checked and I do believe we both have a representative from former empire territory to meet with shortly after six tomorrow. 

“I also suspect that we’re the only two left awake?”

“Yes. Ashe and Ingrid stayed awake rather late as well, but both have to run early morning watch drills with the guard tomorrow so they retired a few hours ago.”

“Well, I suppose it would be bad for my health to stay up any later than this.” 

“It was probably bad for your health when you didn’t go to sleep a few hours ago.” Dedue decided it was for the best to ignore the half eye roll Dimitri did at him. There is no bite to it after all. 

There are times when Dimitri looks impossibly small, like when he’s accidentally fallen asleep at his desk while doing work. There are also times when he looks every bit the king he is, like when he stands up and takes a few steps to look out the large window behind his desk. The moonlight highlights his silhouette well, showcasing just how much taller and muscular he’s gotten since they were teenagers. 

Although he would never admit it, Dedue did find some solace that he was still the taller of the two even after their years apart. 

“Oh, would you accompany me to my room for a moment? Byleth and Mercedes sent us some letters that you’d probably like to read. Just promise you won’t stay up any later reading them tonight. I am not the only one that needs to sleep.”

“I promise.” 

It is not rare for the two to spend time in the other’s private room. They both have their offices, but it’s hard to have a private conversation there, especially when the castle is teeming with people that need to be met with. They eat meals in one or the other’s room whenever there isn’t someone else demanding that time and are not infrequently joined by close friends that also want a moment of peace and quiet. 

It is rare for them to share the space this late at night though. 

Things unsaid and tension unaddressed keeps either from crossing the line that would cause others to question the nature of their relationship. 

People have their questions, of course. It’s been well over a year since the war ended and rumors swirl constantly about who Dimitri intends to marry. They’re not unwarranted in Dedue’s opinion. A people who thought they had lost their king only to have him reappear suddenly and save them from hostile takeover naturally want the once-thought-ended line to continue. There have been a number of offers as well, but Dimitri has turned them all down with tact and grace that he had to learn fast. 

Dedue would be lying if he said that not wanting to make his friend’s life harder for him was one of the reasons he kept silent about the feelings swirling around inside of him. They’ve been swirling for a while, he realized not long ago after quite a bit of introspection. 

It makes sense that some small amount of anxiety gnaws at him while they make the short walk up a floor to Dimitri’s room. 

“Ah, here they are. Things sound interesting over there. We should go and visit when things finally calm down.” Dedue takes the letters and tucks them into a pocket in his shirt. It isn’t hard to tell that Dimitri desperately misses the friends that the responsibility of leading a nation has kept him away from. He misses them too. The separation makes the time they spent together at the academy feel even more bittersweet in retrospect. 

“I’d be happy to.”

Silence falls over them as Dimitri looks up at Dedue. The inches between them feel nonexist and like a canyon at the same time. There is a sadness in Dimitri’s eye that Dedue only ever catches out of the corner of his. He knows it’s not nearly as bad as it was back before and during the war, but healing takes time and the responsibilities of a king don’t make time a readily available thing. If only he had the power to speed up the process. 

Maybe it’s because he’s obnoxiously tired or maybe it’s because they’ve been playing this game for a long time now or maybe it’s a combination of both but Dedue could do nothing to stop Dimitri from reaching up and running his thumb over the scar that runs down the corner of Dedue’s lips. 

“Such a beautiful face marred on the behalf of someone so lost. I let you suffer far too much for my sake.” 

There is a moment where the room is absolutely still and the air between them is simultaneously overwhelmingly heavy and weightlessly light. The two stand on the edge of something they’ve been toeing at ever since they each learned the other was not dead. 

“I’m. . . I’m sorry. That was out of line.” 

There is a part of Dedue that wants to let the moment fade and to let the two of them return to the safety and familiarity of where their relationship, one of absolute trust and unquestionable friendship, currently stands. There is certainty in familiarity, but there has long been something bubbling deep in his heart that longs for something more as Dimitri pulls his hand away. He’d thought about it before, back when they were in the officer’s academy and he heard Sylvain prattle on night and day about his skirt chasing. He wondered, in his moments alone either gardening or cooking, what it would be like to be in love. 

It was only when he nearly gave up his life to save Dimitri from execution that he realized he might already know. 

This though, reaching back and taking that step, takes far more courage than being prepared to die for Dimitri ever did. 

“The scars of sinners and saints feel the same under the fingers of those who love them,” Dedue says as he reaches out and runs his thumb over Dimitri’s eyepatch while cupping the side of his head with his palm. “We cannot turn back the clock and right our wrongs. I would have gladly suffered far worse to be here with you today.” 

All the worry in Dedue’s head vanishes as he watches Dimitri’s expression change in rapid fire sequence as he processes every implication in Dedue’s words until he finally ends up entirely red and looks away at the corner of the room. “I. . .you?” 

“Yes?” 

“You said you. . .”

“Yes.” 

Dedue could probably hear the breath Dimitri finally lets escape from his lungs as he leans into Dedue’s hand even if they were in the middle of a battlefield. 

Dimitri has always worn his heart on his sleeve and right now the unbridled adoration on his face is crushing Dedue’s usual stoicism. 

“I. . .I feel the same.” There is little time for Dedue to relish the weight being lifted from his shoulders before Dimitri tugs him down so they’re laying next to each other on his bed. 

Well, if Dimitri can be uncharacteristically playful than so can he. 

“You really should put on proper clothes to go to bed in.” 

Dimitri just laughs quietly as he rolls slightly to lay on his back and stare at the ceiling. Dedue knows that it must just be the way the moonlight from the open window is hitting him, but it does look a little bit like he’s glowing. 

“Would you like to see?”

“What?”

“My eye. I’ve never shown anyone.” 

There’s a lot about those five years that Dedue realizes he doesn’t know about Dimitri and Dimitri doesn’t know about him. They were difficult years to live through and even more difficult years to talk about at times. This is a start he’s willing to accept though. 

“Of course.” 

There is a quiet tenderness to the way Dimitri slowly slips off the eyepatch and his hair falls delicately back into place as he turns his head to look at Dedue. A scar runs diagonally from just above the right corner of his eye to the opposite. Dedue can just barely make out the usual brilliant blue of Dimitri’s good eye through the murkiness of this one. Without thinking he reaches out and runs a finger along the scar, Dimitri reflexively closing his eye as he does. 

“Does it feel the same as yours?” 

“Almost exactly. I dare say that the touch of steel doesn’t discriminate based on the actions of those it harms.” 

“You’re probably right about that.” Dimitri pauses and makes a content humming sound as Dedue’s thumb rubs circles at his cheek bone. “It almost killed me you know. Not the man wielding the sword, but the wound itself. There are many gaps in my memory during those five years, but the hallucinations I had while my body fought off the infection were the start of, well . . .” 

Dedue logically knew what came next. His return had been when Dimitri started to realize the path he was walking would lead to nothing but pain for everyone, but Byleth had told him about the king’s not infrequent conversations with the dead in the months before that. 

“You don’t have to say it.” 

“Thank you,” Dimitri says with a weakness he doesn’t usually let slip through into his voice as he puts the eyepatch back on. “It gives me worse headaches than usual if I keep it off. It’s not completely blind, I can still tell how much light there is and make out very rough shapes, but I think the good one tries to compensate for it too much.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself.” 

“No, but if it’s you I would like to. I’m sure there are lots of scars, inside and out, that we’ve never shared.” That Dedue knew to be true. There was much in the five years they’d spent apart the he told no one about. There was probably much that everyone had kept to themselves in fear of weighing the others down. 

“After I helped you escape I was bedridden for a very long time. An arrow coated in poison just barely cut the skin on my neck. I do not remember much from shortly after that. The healer with the group that rescued me said some sort of divine intervention must have saved me because the poison would have killed anyone else. I think maybe my body just refused to die while you were still alive.” 

“Did it, did it take all five years for you to recover?” 

“No, not entirely. Had I known where you were I would have come to your side as soon as I was able, but there were refugees caught in the crossfire of the war that I aided while you were missing.” 

“Dedue, you don’t have to feel bad about helping people other than me.” 

“Now, looking back, I do not. But back then I did.” 

The two spend a few minutes after that just laying beside each other. It is comfortable in a way that Dedue would have never believed if he’d been told beforehand how he would feel in this moment. 

“Thank you, for listening and for sharing,” Dimitri says gently.

“There is much more we both have to tell, but another time. We probably have less than four hours until we have to be awake at this point” 

“Will you stay here for the night?” The question nearly stops Dedue’s heart. He hadn’t considered Dimitri being so forward. The look on Dedue’s face must have betrayed what he was thinking because Dimitri seemed to instantly comprehend the implications of what he’d said. Maybe neither would have jumped to such conclusions if they’d actually talked about these things as teenagers. “Wait no! Not like that! I just meant to sleep, I swear!” 

“Ah. In that case perhaps I will take you up on that offer when we don’t have to be up at the crack of dawn,” he says after his heartbeat slows back down just a little bit. Dedue sweeps Dimitri’s hair out of his face one last time before standing up to leave. Dimitri yawns, his own body involuntarily betraying just how tired he really is. 

“It may well be years until we share a bed then.” 

“Your Majesty I can guarantee that it will not.” 

“You really have been spending too much time with Sylvain.” 

“Sleep well Dimitri,” Dedue says as he walks to the door and absolutely does not acknowledge the accusation. 

“Oh, Dedue, one other thing.”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.” 

This time, it’s Dedue’s turn to turn red as he silently hopes his heart will calm down enough to actually get some sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I've only finished Blue Lions but I just had to write this. Apologies if some of the info is wrong (like the details I definitely made up about what happened to them in the five year gap). Anyways I love these two together and the fandom is definitely sleeping on just how good of a couple they are, so I hope you enjoyed the cheesy fluff. Also apologies for any grammatical mistakes. I read over it a few times but I'm bad at catching that stuff. I'll probably write more in the same timeline even if I don't get around to playing the other routes for a while (back to playing through FFXIV for me). If you wanna yell with me about just how good these two are (or any other three houses characters really) I'm on twitter @sweetotters.


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